whiskey tango

findingthinagain:

Before/after.

This one actually took a lot of courage.

The picture on the left is probably the most “famous” picture of me, with over 5600 notes. It’s currently in a frenzy of being reblogged right now, so I decided to recreate it.

On the left, November 2010, I weighed 105 pounds (at 5’6”). This was not my lowest weight, in fact this was only the beginning, before I ever lost my period. This picture was a big deal for me because I finally started to love my body, and I thought I’d “made it”, because I finally had a thigh gap and toned abs. Too bad that feeling was extremely fleeting and I felt the need to lose 7 more pounds and would have lost much, much more if my mom and a doctor hadn’t intervened.

On the right, July 2012, I weigh 121 pounds. This is not my highest weight since I’ve recovered. Like a lot of people, I “overshot” my weight gain, weighing around 130ish (a guess since I got rid of my scale at school when I hit 128), and have since slowly dropped back down by truly normalizing my relationship with food and exercise. But guess what. This time I actually do love my body. I don’t feel like I need to change anything. It’s no longer “I love my body but… I need a bigger thigh gap… I’d like more toned abs… I’d like more visible hipbones…”. It’s just I love my body. It will likely continue to change throughout my life. I can basically guarantee you that I will weigh less than this and I will weigh more than this. If loving my body was still dependent on looking a certain way, I’d be screwed.

But luckily, it doesn’t depend on how I look, at all. Whether I weigh 100 pounds or 400 pounds, my body is my body and it puts up with me. I love my boyfriend for sticking with me through ups and downs, so why wouldn’t I love my body for doing the same thing?